I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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