i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
