why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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