i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
