Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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