I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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