Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
