reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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