Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
