His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
