I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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