yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
