brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
