I want to stick my p in your. b.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
