So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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