I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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