My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
