I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
