Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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