Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
