He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
