is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
