I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's never too late to be topless.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
