Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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