Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
