Rock
Scissors
Fuck
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
