youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
