3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
