youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
