i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
