new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
