My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Randomize
