return my video game
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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