Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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