From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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