On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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