Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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