You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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