i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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