WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
