i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
