Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
