ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
