ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
