It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
