Yo dont text me then not text me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
ok first of all what the fuck
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
