it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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