I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
