So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize