She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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