Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize