Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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