Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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