I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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