He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
