im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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