I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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