3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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