I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
