Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
