I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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