the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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