Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
