No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
