you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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