hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
