don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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