All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize