I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
